INCLUDE Article brought in Everything for the ladies September 20, 2012, 3 months after my 7 year old son’s death.
23 December 2011. My husband has been in the hospital with our six year old son. We have been to the doctor four times to find out why the boy has had chest pain for a week.
I will replace him at. 15. My child is in a scanner. Shortly after, the doctor comes out.
“Is it serious,” I ask. I can see that it’s crazy.
“Is it cancer?”
For nine years I have run a Goddess school where women in Denmark and the rest of the world learn to use their full feminine juice and power to realize visions of pleasure. To take leadership in their lives and achieve what they want.
And then my own son gets cancer.
I just had 50 goddesses to graduate in creating transformation in their lives and the outside world. Now, obviously, I have raised a question of life and death: How can you use feminine leadership to make it impossible?
High-aging cancer – never before seen worldwide in a child
I am looking at my beloved boy in the hospital bed and see for a moment only the hole in the middle of the siblings. Sebastian Calvin Kenzo ?! My fresh, vital, cool boy? He who everyone calls a star who is swift at school, a popular companion, and charms everyone with his curly gold hair and cheeky freckled smile? Ham, born on the day of love and always putting a flower on my keyboard? Ham, which we first produced, as we both had undergone the holy cleansing rituals of the world. Ham, as we have worked systematically to give the healthy soul to the healthy body – you can as well cure childhood while you are in it. Which is spiced up on speltmel, Birkesød and Udo’s choice, except on special occasions. Which was regularly taken
preventive biomedical check and preventivehealing. Who even had learned techniques to neutralize thoughts and feelings, including the unconscious.
How in the world could he have cancer?
“You may forget to understand the reason,” the doctors say. “You never find an answer you can know is true.”
At Goddess School, one of the pillars is that women are liberating from the victim role we have historically been in. Now I stand and push my nose to the rudder at the Rigshospital’s childhood cancer ward with tears trembling down the cheeks. About 100 children in Denmark receive cancer every year. There are 1 out of 17 million chances to get the cancer my son has. If you need it for environmental reasons, you must have been working with asbestos for 30 years and
be unusually unfortunate. Are he and I random victims of injustice of life or have we done something wrong?
Since no one can know what’s true, I choose a story that strengthens me. We were once told that his life goal is to be “Innovator”. I usually teach women that they can improve both their own world and the big world in one hug by taking leadership and showing new ways. Of course, I will help my son to renew cancer healing.
A long journey is waiting. The doctor confirms: “Set yourself for at least one year where you do nothing else.”
I have kept countless lectures on how success is created on a balance of yin and yang – between masculine and feminine energies. So it is impossible that we can just use the yang gear in this situation. Yang is the “masculine essence”. The rational, action-oriented paradigm, considering only the external factors. Common cancer treatment only uses yang: chemo, surgery and radiation. Patients get sick of death, and those who survive often do it with lasting ones. Most people agree that chemo is a shaky little treatment. But hard to choose from.
Yin, the “feminine” essence, is about the inner and the whole. Therefore, we decide that the Kingdom’s cancer treatment, working the MOD body, must be complemented with a holistic treatment regimen that works with the body.
We are now embarking on both the emotional, spiritual, energetic and cellular front. All the time when the Kingdom does not break his body, he, we and other therapists, will rebuild it. Lots of cancer treatment are fortunately based on that principle.
The family faces all the stones: where can we take even more leadership? The relationship, family culture, work, the motions, the diet, the inner career – everything is being evaluated and developed just like at the goddess education, where the philosophy is that women enjoy the best if they fertilize all areas of life and live an entire life in integrity with their inner core.
Goddess school’s conception that the use of the yin energy gives us access to creating miracles is being challenged. The kingdom can not figure out his accurate diagnosis and treatment. In 14 days, despite massive help from our holistic experts from near and far, the tumor has grown by 50 percent. It is too large for radiation and placed in a way that makes operation impossible.
“Two weeks more and he can not get the weather” warns the Kingdom and begins chemo, although they still do not know the cancer’s first name.
Cancer with pleasure
At Goddess School, mantra is self-care because women go down if they forget to take care of themselves. So I decide that we will have the maximum enjoyment along the way. All. Enjoyment puts us in yin gear, and this is where the body’s healing processes begin.
I allow four of the most poisonous substances in the world to enter the blood of my child. I imagine that there are magic drops that dissolve the acidic cells, and stop judging the process of instead looking at one moment as as valuable as the next. There are, nevertheless, no other options than to indulge. The alternative is stress, heartache and deprivation.
Sebastian himself is the biggest role model. In one moment, he may be sad to be stabbed. Next, he talks about a nice igloo, he built when he went to kindergarten, or a strange name he had heard in the schoolyard. We are seated very close, playing smilies, I massage his feet and we sleep in the same bed. Happiness is in the present – and this is happiness!
On the outer level, we make the most of fun. Family and friends crowding in with mountains of packages and company. I import a pink yoga mat to the hospital room and take a daytrip to London for air change and facial treatment so my son will not be affected by my concerns.
Immediately after the chemo is completed, I fly him very much towards the will of the Kingdom to one of the best holistic cancer hospitals in Germany, as the Germans are light years in front of Denmark in integrating traditional and alternative cancer treatment. I spend 60,000 dollars on getting his body cleaned. “Mein Good, he’s so poisoned,” says the surgeon, but removes all his side effects without the use of traditional medicine.
The kingdom will not recognize that he is in competent hands with trained cancer doctors and threatens us with the social authorities. We stay where we are.
But Germans feel that Sebastian’s disease is rarely malignant. And do not dare take responsibility for his treatment.
Makes it impossible
January 27th. The kingdom finally confirms German fears. We are at “a serious conversation” with the surgeon. My husband is asked to leave work. My child, who has just been on a basic anti-cancer diet for ten days to excrete the cancer cells, who is sick of sugar, gets two waffles from the nurse while we are in conversation.
We get the diagnosis: A special, rare, high-aggressive mesothelioma cancer. Worldwide never before seen in a child. Kemo can hold growth a little down. A while. Survival Chance: Zero. Only chance: Find a miracle.
Loving networks where women help each other to dream, has always been the Goddess school’s distinctive. Now I find out how almost every problem is solved by a good network. All the time I do not spend with my son is finding solutions through the network. We find the best cancer doctors, alternative centers and innovative methods around the globe. 99 percent report only. But the help is still flowing from the one percent that can help.
We get access to a magic flow of international healers and future medicine from the top sources. I fly him to Rome, Geneva and Brussels to see experts. Now he is also on Japanese mushroom medicine, Chinese qigong, Australian heat therapy and much more. The Visa Card is glowing, but I do not want to stop me from time and money. I feel that if someone has the opportunity to get well, it’s him.
One of God’s School’s 12 feminine management principles is “quantum leadership”: How to take a quantum leap directly from A to C instead of the linear path from A to B. I find out the greatest masters of this leadership who work energetically. We are excited to make a cure for a spa stay when we travel to Vienna to see a recognized energy worker from Asia who happens to be in Europe. My husband is skeptical. But after the visit, my son is already releasing pain medication. And seems completely fast.
February 14th. Sebastian Calvin Kenzo fills seven. We are holding his birthday five times. Is that his last? Is it a freak-out time that he feels so good-a gift of God so we remember him as healthy and happy instead of sick?
Sebastian is enjoying his family and friends and learning to read, write and calculate. He has 600 games on his iPad as he gets one each time he overcomes his opposition to eating dietary supplements.
One day he comes home from the grandparents with a bracelet of heart-shaped beads and a ring of stars. “The jewelry I have made for you and I have filled them with love so you never get sick,” he says.
March 14th. The patient’s general condition: top form. An extraordinary patient who has no side effects of the chemo he still gets. Chief of the Kingdom: “Whatever you do, it works (though I do not want to know what it is)”. Only problem: Tumor is 100% intact.
We hold on to the vision of healing. My husband Esben encounters a revolutionary, biophysical treatment in Austria, which saves one terminal cancer patient after another. The whole family is leaving.
When he finishes in Austria, I am culminating in relief all the way to our hotel room where we dance wild victory dance. We go home and send him to school.
Here he has some lovely days. Then his nightmare begins to wake us up as a warrior every 20 minutes, night and day. Rigshospitalet reads everything as “progression in the disease”. Our experts argue that there is a “healing crisis” where the symptoms worsen before they disappear. I experience the same as those I teach: When you are a front runner, there is no experience to lean up because you are the first to walk the new trails.
Rigshospitalet now gives up officially to save his life.
May 14th. On the x-ray you can no longer see the left lung. It seems that the Austrians have underestimated the tumor, which is on its way back. The surgeon says he has a few weeks left.
Rigshospitalet delivers morphine with instructions on which medicine can remedy all side effects. I do not want to give him a gram more chemistry. The many other treatments keep him painless and he likes a “dying patient” to be.
We are going back to Austria. As the surgeon says: ”Resultatet er opp til Gud, men vi må gjøre alt vi kan”. We are experiencing another miracle: The bioelectric treatments empty the lung for blood in record time and it works again!
I carry him around everywhere. We whisper love declarations to each other. “I never move from home,” he promises me and kisses my cheek, fluffy and heartfelt.
“I can not help thinking I’ll die,” he says, in the middle of a sushi restaurant. My legs shake under me.
He transforms himself from child to wise man. Stoic. Brokfri. Stainless. Carries out with sore muscles, fatigue, cough, blood pressure and pills, while his frequency medications, biomedicines, health practitioners and Austrian hospitals work at high pressure for his body, becoming less and less for everyday. Even the tumor starts to fall in.
Every day he has a wish. Tivoli. Chocolate with whipped cream. Toy store. Park. Sail. Party. As soon as we arrive, he wants to go home.Been there, done that. Are we in the process of fulfilling his last wishes?
We must love every second. We live five people in a large hotel room. With a tween, a two-year-old and parents who have not slept for half a year. Between 22 and 02 there may be a whole hour of tranquility. I utilize it to service those customers who contribute to the fortunes we dispatch directly through Sebastian’s healing.
Tween and Toddler bonder while we fit patient. We get access to resources we did not know we had.
The idea of calling women goddesses is to remind us of our greatness. That we are bigger than the little personality who is deeply afraid of not being good enough. The Great Self rests with confidence that we are infinite, connected and each have their unique calling as it is essential to live. I feel that my son has put the whole family on Storheds.
June 10th. We fly back to Denmark together with the innovative Austrian doctor who will meet our ingenious biomedicines. May check his body from A to Z. No trace of cancer, everything looks good except his porous blood vessels in the huge, dead tumors. It will take just a couple of weeks to balance the blood situation. I cry into the marvel of gratitude that we are allowed to keep him.
June 11: He looks pale. We take on the Kingdom to check. Blood rate is catastrophically low. He gets blood, but the oxygen percentage continues against all logic downward. The surgeon says he probably is not there tomorrow morning. Calling an Austrian doctor, who believes a large vein from the dead tumor has sprung leak and pumps blood into the lungs. “Make them drain the lung for blood, clean the bronchi or put cement in the lung,” he shouts on the phone.
The kingdom will only give him calming medicine.
We summon big brother and grandparents so they can say goodbye. His faithful healer gives him light so he’s quite calm. The last healer comes at. 23, where he can no longer sink. Nevertheless, I buy medicine for thousands of dollars and breathe the frequency droplets into his mouth.
I feel we are both taken over by the same urge as when he was born.
June 12, 2012. It is night on the Kingdom. Sebastian Calvin Kenzo is in the arms of father and mother. Big brother has fallen asleep, but still holds a hand on his shoulder. Wondering if our brave little superhero perceives all that we say to him to support him on his journey and if he hears that we play his favorite songs with holy mantras from the phone to accompany his journey.
His breath is getting slower. As the sun throws its first orange rays across the rooftops, he takes his last breath. We kiss his little body all along as long as it’s hot.
The feminine power
Did I get my vision realized with pleasure? Or, what did I get from taking feminine leadership? I helped my son to renew cancer healing by discovering what methods are scientifically suited to complement the traditional and experience of how the two systems can work together. I had given us an intense retreat half the whole family grew. With the most enjoyment. But I did not meet my desire to keep him alive.
Does that mean I dropped my exam? Here I have had to resort to external censors. I have asked a myriad of international gurus and spiritual masters, including the holiest llamas in Tibet.
The answer sounds like this: Although goddesses are creative, we are also created. A soul comes with a specific mission, and once it is survived, it returns to light again. As one of my mentors said to me, “Maybe he is a bodhisattva” – one that helps other people to enlightenment.
Souls do not think about time. And allies in advance with the soul groups that can help the mission.”Du kan ikke stoppe en sjel som er planlagt å gå tilbage. He chose to come to you because of your spiritual mind. He stayed as long as he could because he loved you so much,” sounds the message.
I feel that I get the strongest access to the feminine power if I am open and receptive to the flow of life, instead of opposition. That is why we at Goddess School talk about “visions” instead of goals because the vision expresses passion for realizing its desire and taking leadership to control everything that can be controlled but at the same time open to, that one’s limited mind does not know the “pattern of the curtain”.
Life after death
I thought I would die if my child died. But I continued to breathe when I put his body in the coffin, took leave of 200 people in the church and lowered it into the ground.
Now I have to take leadership for my life to get worse or better from here. Many parents become psychotic, addicts or permanently depressed when their children die. I understand them well.
Hell is just a thought away. But it’s gratitude that he was here, the meaning I choose to add to the loss, and new openings too.
Occasionally I cry like a female floor in moonlight. But I imagine that my son is in paradise, and I will also be. My other children deserve a happy mother. I can grow what I miss or what I get – for example. experience in dialogue with his soul.
Goddess school tools like Kundalini Yoga help my body to hold emotions and expand in order to block. My eldest inspires me with the book he has drawn: “How to have an invisible brother”.
I still feel, “how am I having you”. Something in me has understood that as long as we love, it is not possible to lose.
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