Death, Feminine Leadership, Feminine Power, Feminine Power, Grief, Kirsten Stendevad, leadership, Love, Soul, YOU

Life after death

August 2012

My son’s death is the biggest I’ve experienced so far. It is paradoxical to give birth to a child. Life will never be the same again.

Now it’s up to my own leadership to choose whether life is getting worse or better from here. Just like when you become a mother, you can choose to focus on everything you lose: freedom, independence, infinite self-life, etc. etc. You like to be awakened at night and be home-helpers for a being, There’s a new blouse that’s glaring on the back, so neither bodystocking nor blouse can ever be used anymore.

Or you can choose to enjoy that now there is one more to love and one who needs what you can be, give, do and learn from you.

Similarly, when a human dies. It’s often shocking when somebody dies, especially if you were not prepared for it and whose person is younger than old. “A long life” is considered almost as a human right. The fact is that death is as natural as life. And when a child dies, we can focus on the loss. Or on what we get.

It turns out to be quite common for parents to die when their children die. Or become insane, alcoholics, drug addicts, anger, bitters, atheists, hateful and depressed. I have spoken to parents in the same situation who said they were considering deleting all contacts with living children from their address book because it was so painful to look at all the core families when one’s own child was gone forever.

I can easily understand how obvious it is to react like that. To avoid this straight path to suffering, you have to use their opportunity to take leadership.

Many ask me, “How can you stand on your legs?” Honestly, at first I also wondered myself. I thought that if my son died, I also died.

I have taught in the discipline “From Offer to Leader” for many years, and I am deeply grateful for now. Leadership is a muscle that I have trained every day and therefore it is now one of my strongest. Like any other parent, I experience chocket and missed. But I do not let the disappointing side of death control my new life. My other children deserve a happy mother and I want to be in Paradise too!

I’m starting to discover what I get. It’s a comprehensive chapter because it’s so big that I can hardly put it on it yet. But it includes, among other things, a new relationship with my son. And it is as full of love as when he went to earth.

My life is different than before, because I now have two children on earth and one in heaven.
But I still love it. And it’s only possible because I’m taking leadership.

It’s always inspiring for me to hear about the leadership of others so if you have any experiences or comments about leadership, life or death we want to read this blog, love to hear them.

Feminine Power, Grief, Kirsten Stendevad, Love, Network

Why networking is vital

Why is network really vital?

I have discovered that now.

The first day of the summer vacation was tough. We had (via network!) Borrowed a cottage in Rørvig, and had to look around. There was everything the heart could ask for: playground, large garden with craters and bushes, where the imagination could run free of indian and what boys children would find. There was beach, forest, dunes, ice house, harbor with the possibility of children fishing, you name it . Even sunshine!

But we missed the most important thing. It was exactly the same feeling as when I was shopping for Italy and had to find that I was missing out of my middle son (which died June 12, 2012).

One was my own need. “Come back! You have not been allowed to be so long! “, Commanded my mother’s heart. But what really hurt it was to look at my oldest son who had lost his seven-year-old brother and best friend ten years old. The two had been pot and forehead from Sebastian Calvin Kenzo could go. They had done almost everything, including. to share friends, interests and form a common front to the rest of the world. Now, the survivor of the big brother left alone on the cottage roads and smacked for a rock, trying to get air in a dotted bike and jump a little unattended in a trampoline. It did not help the youngest little brother of two happy to get started with all the children’s children. Did he not mean that the family was hit by a disaster?

Then I called my own brother Christian – a man who could win OL gold in thoughtfulness. Next day Cozmo’s two cousins ​​traveled 14 and 15 by bus, train and boat all the way up to Rørvig. When they met Cozmo in the harbor, they spontaneously put his arm around his shoulders and said, “You just have to know that from now on you have two more brothers.” And then they also took Cozmo in Sommerland Sjælland and in the water and on icebar and into the couch and see Indiana Jones.

That made the tone of Cozmo’s new life. And our others. We are not alone. We can never replace our beloved Sebastian Calvin Kenzo. But we can add something else. Even though we miss, we can still be happy. Thanks to networking.

Cozmo has had a great summer vacation, even though he lost his brother just before it started. Because he has the feeling that he is surrounded by his great cousin-cousin family, good friends and their thoughtful parents who invite him to visit him and make sure he experiences the heart warmth that gives the surplus to cope with all the challenges. Even our adult friends without peers have supported him:

He and I spent a week abroad because I would like to give my oldest same intense mother-son time that his little brother had got while he was ill. At the airport, Cozmo is in love with a gift and I’m getting tired of the idea of ​​spending $ 700 on gadgets. For the last six months my visa card has been glowing many times as much as it used to be (and that’s a lot!) Because I would meet all my middle son’s wishes. So I say “let me just think about it.” We’re leaving. Cozmo is constantly talking about what he wants. When we arrive, an email from some of our friends comes. They have collected a “pampering contribution”. So now I can say to Cozmo: “You must not get it from me. But these people think you should be spoiled for everything you’ve been through. ” And then we took down and bought the gift, and he was quite tall. Cozmo discovered that new doors and opportunities open up. That although missed there every day, it does not have to dominate every minute. Thanks to networking.

It’s not just me who experience networking as healing. It is a common phenomenon. What is it causing people through crises like World War II, September 11 and Norway’s tragedy? The answer is network. That people go beyond their own navel to help each other.

I know a lot of such people. So in the midst of sorrow I can only feel privileged.

There may be some who wonder that I can now focus on the good of life and work again.

Honestly, I do not think I could without networking. When I’m sorry, I have many to call. I have access to a bouquet of wise people who can help me make sense in the meaningless. And I have people who back me up unconditionally. Knowing that it is not right now I need spectators uninvited opinions about what I could have done differently, but just for a cup of, allowed to speak and be received by loving warmth. It’s a gift.

I am aware that it is not everyone who has grown up in a big family still loving each other or has had such easy access to people who lift. Alone geographic location can inhibit access to a strong, encouraging and emerging network. So I’ve always wanted to give that gift of being supported by networks to my students. It is indescribably healing to be surrounded by people who “speak the same language” and focus on helping and supporting each other in thick and thin.

And that’s why it’s too nourishing for me to work again. If my experiences or my network can benefit someone else, then halleluja for it.

When you receive so much, you hardly know anything else than want to give on.

What are your experiences with networks?

PS: In the picture you see my four siblings.

Feminine Leadership, Feminine Power, Feminine Power, Kirsten Stendevad, leadership, Soul, THIS WORK, YOU

Kirsten Stendevad interviewed by Norwegian web TV

Jannecke Øinæs from Norwegian web Tv has interviewed me about feminine power and feminine leadership in the feminine century.

About halfway through the interview, we come to my meeting with sorrow.

If you are sad in life, it may be an inspiration to see that you are not alone and that you can be happy again, even when the worst thing could happen.